Super Bowl Frustrations

I got to make myself some sports friends. Its kinda pathetic that my home team is in the biggest watched even the entire year -- and I have no place to go.

Sigh.

In religious circles, not everyone is into sports. Its considered a little 'not so kosher' to get all wrapped up with something like that. Especially not women. A lot of the guys are. In my family, my older brother is into sports and he got me into it. It was mainly Yankees baseball which I was lucky enough to start following in 1996, the year they won it all. And I've gotten a little into the other sports and especially football more of recent. I don't have a TV so eeverthing I watch is streaming. Which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. But in general, not so fun to watch a big game on a little computer screen.

So my husband couldn't care less about football and I have like one sorta football friend. So its frustrating. My brother and his wife are into football but they live 2 hours away in New Jersey. Plus my sister-in-law is in school till 5 on Sunday, near where she lives so that's limiting. The past few weeks, we've been in touch via cell phone, cheering on the Giants over text. Last game he actually came to me and we watched togehter. This time, for the big game, apparently, he is going out to some hotel for a reunion of a few years back for just the guys. Great. So that leaves me and SIL floundering of where to go.

She doesn't want to go to a bar or restaurant, she wants to go to someoen's house. I don't know many people hosting it. I'd rather go to someone I'm super close to, but since that doesn't exist, let me go to a public place. I also feel a little uncomfortable going to a place where people sorta know me and couldn't care less about the game. Cuz I cheer. And boo. And yell at the football players. And for people that couldn't care less about the game, especially women, this is just weird.

So we need a place in between the two of us, location wise (prob Brooklyn), not with people wed be embarassed in front of, and something that we'd both feel comfortable with.

Oh and yeah, its gotta be kosher too.

From my FB status: 'why do i have a feeling that despite several decent options, I'm going to be watching the Super Bowl alone in my bedroom on pirated, chopped up, streaming TV?'

Friday night

So I have a sort-of-dilemma.

Every Friday night - Saturday night is our Sabbath, Shabbat, Shabbos whatever you want to call it. Its a day of rest and and we basically refrain from all electronic stuff and work and we hang out with family, eat, read, pray and SLEEP! So for those not familiar with what Shabbos entails, imagine a small Thanksgiving meal every Friday night and Saturday afternoon. There's lots to prepare beforehand, including cooking 5-course meals, cleaning the home, bathing everyone, preparing for guests which often come, etc. Its fun and very enjoyable, but yes, hard work!

So here's the dilemma. Lately, or I should say, almost always, come Friday eve, everything is finally ready and I light my candles and just collapse. The whole week of working and taking care of kids coupled with the extra prep work on Friday finally catches up and knowing that i'm finally at my deadline puts me into a very tired-lazy-just-wanna-sit-on-my-couch-with-my-feet-up mood. But I usually dont have much time to relax cuz I still have to take care of kids and set the table up so when my husband comes home from synagogue, all is ready. And basically, the whole meal, I'm somewhat 'blah'. I'll eat and chat and laugh but I'm so not in the mood of serving a big meal. Taking care of the kids and putting them in bed, constantly getting up and down to serve and clear off and standing on my feet to serve things such as soup and chicken feel like major labor to get through. Plus, i'm usually relaxing and surfing at this time of night so it's physically hard all around. But the dilemma is not just how to make this easier. Here it goes:

My wonderful husband has seen that Friday nights are hard for me and it bothers him. He wants me to be energetic and rested and happy and I totally get why. So he's basically taken over all cooking and cleaning the past number of weeks, which is amazing. I barely have to do anything in that department. Great. So whats the issue? The issue is...come Friday night and I'm still tired... even if I didnt do any of the cooking or cleaning. Its not like i have my feet up all Friday, even without cooking/cleaning, I'm still donig my share of getting things ready, bathing the kids - including washing hair, always fun and in general going up and down the stairs more often than usual. Truth is, I think that many people are tired Friday night even if they dont have kids or work full time. But I'm sure my CMT adds to the fatigue. So it frustrates my husband that even with him taking so much of my shoulders, I'm still not alive and energetic. And I dont know what to do about it.

Just as an aside - DH is not into me making CMT excuses. IN general this is actually a very good thing because I don't WANT to be someone who lazes around and does nothing because of a neurolgical disorder. I want to accomplish whatever I can and push myself to the limit. But what is my limit? When I try to explain that I get fatigued easier than many others, he claims I am 'pulling the CMT card'. Might be true. Prob not completely true. I probably could get energized if I was giong to - say - an American Idol show. But even then I tire easily.

Maybe I should relax more on Friday - like sleep instead of surfing when I come home from work. Maybe its a simple soloution like using a better chair at the meal which I can get up and down from easier. Maybe I should drink a coffee right before lighting candles. Or maybe I should just tell him that I might not be energetic no matter what I or he does and he should try to accept that about me.

Thoughts? Advice?

Welcome!

Hi. I'm taking a brave step and putting this out in the open. I don't know how much I will share with who but I’m tired of keeping it all in. I’d like to thank Michele and Nicole for inspiring me to blog about this part of my life. It’s always been so private – and private means dark and bad and secretive. Somehow when you take it out in the open – and you can laugh and talk about, it just becomes another part of your life and not that bad. I don’t think I’m ready to tell the world now, especially because my whole family still wants to keep this under the wraps (my sister would faint if she saw this). But I don’t think she’ll ever see it. Anyway for now I’m sharing with people I am comfortable with and I trust and we’ll see what ends up happening. For now, I ask that you keep this somewhat private and not share the info I put down with just anyone.

So who am I?

Well I’m a Contemporary Mom of Two, duh! I think that means I’m cool and hip and a mom of two. I tried figuring out a nice acronym for CMT and thought about cool or challenged or crazy or charismatic. But I like contemporary, it works. And the mom part is a big part of who I am. And two is as many kids I have plus if/when I have one more, T can still work J. So I have a 3 year old daughter S and a 2 year old son Y and they are the light of my lives. They are gorgeous (though they both look like their dad) and exhausting and fun and challenging and so full of personality and love. I am so grateful that I have them in my life.

More about me:

So I’m 30 year old (contemporary) mom of two. I am married to a great husband and father, A, who I’m sure will make it to the blog here and there. I got married almost 5 years ago and life has been better and better since that wonderful day. This past summer, we bought our dream home in one of the neighborhoods in Queens. Still getting used to the area and home ownership in general but I think it’s the best move for our family and our future. I grew up in Manhattan and miss city and apartment life at times. I still feel like I’m a city girl – and I go back whenever I can! Anyway, life is really pretty awesome right about now. I have my dream man, dream home, adorable son and daughter. I’m surrounded by family and friends and have a good job that I enjoy (Special Ed Preschool Teacher). So for the most part I feel very blessed and lucky.

One of the not so awesome parts of my life is the fact that I have Charcot-Marie-Tooth which has got to be the dumbest named disease ever, no offense to the three brillant doctors who discovered it. I’m not going to labor into what it is, if you want to know, you can google it (although its not as bad as they make it sound). But basically it’s a neurological disorder that affects the extremities; hands, arms, legs, feet. It makes them weaker and it makes some everyday things like walking, climibing stairs, buttoning things, etc more difficult. I'm more prone to falling and I tire somewhat easily, Its also hereditary which means it can be passed down to a child. Which isn't such a fun thing to think about. I try to keep positive, use a lot of humor and surround myself with loving and positive people. And its helped a ton to meet real life folks with CMT (both online and in person) because they are really all so awesome, down to earth, in stable relationships, have jobs, positive, busy with life, etc. Recently some new developments have gotten me thinking which is what prompted this blog (hope to share it in upcoming posts)

Anyway, to wrap it all up, I couldn't fully describe myself without mentioning my religion. I'm an Orthodox Jew which means I take religion kinda seriously. Besides for believing and connecting with God and all that, I do a lot of interesting things like only eat Kosher, take a break from -- well everything basically -- every Fri night and Saturday and think about Israel often. It also makes me somewhat unique in the CMT world as I have yet to meet a religious Jew who has CMT (besides for family). I feel somewhat alone in certain ways because the folks in my community don't really get my CMT issues but my CMT friends also don't really understand the challenges that face me as a religious Jew. Both culturally and for religious purposes, there are challenges that are uniquely mine. For example, I don't wear pants (unless its under a skirt), which makes it harder to hide braces or whatnot. I can't attend the local support group because they are always on Saturday (technically, i could walk the 2.5 miles from my moms place but it would be kinda ironic...). I guess the biggest difference would be culturally, we're about 3 decades behind on openness and transparency. Things are better than they used to be but folks are very hush hush about issues. Especially if it can lead to difficulties in 'shidduchim' which is how many in my community meet and marry (think blind dates with a lot of background checking). I and my sister both dealt with rejection when dating; and it was from several guys in my case. I was so jealous of all the CMTers who just tell their boyfriend/girlfriend and no big deal. Because in my culture it is somewhat of a big deal...thankfully A and I met and tossed all the silly rules out the window and I know he is a keeper. But it makes the whole issue of being open and sharing somewhat difficult. Especially if other family members don't want to share.

But anyway, i'm a firm believer that we, as humans, generally share a lot more in common than we differ from one another. We all have hearts, feelings, emotions, thoughts and fears and arms and feet (whether they work to full capacity or not ;) ). But feel free to ask any Q if you don't understand something.

I also want to warn you i am NOT a consistent blogger. I don't like typing though i do love to talk and share and communicate. Also sometimes i write very long, other times short and choppy and I often don't reread before hitting publish. If any of these things offend you, RUN (or if you have CMT just walk quickly).

Here it goes :)