Thursday, November 17, 2011

Why dont I ever post?

I get into a rut. Of not posting. not posting leads to more nonposting.

So its been about two months and my blog is sitting and getting dusty. Once I start posting again, it feels so good and right. But I need to actually sit down, sign in, click on new post and get to it.

Another thing. the honest truth is I haven't really been thinking about CMT much. Basically when I think a lot about CMT, theres a good chance i'm going to feel down. And I don;t like feeling down. I like feeling happy. I don;t know how people devote their whole lives to CMT and make movies about it and write stories and advocate and stuff. While I so admire them and think its great, I think it would add this depressing feel to my life if CMT was such a big part of my daily life. But at this point, I am busy with work, friends, side jobs, keeing the home and oh-btw-two kids :). So I don't think so much about CMT so I don't post. I should post anyway but i don't.

Thank God I am feeling pretty good, each year that the kids get a little older and more independant I thinnk it helps with my overall stamina and energy level. Like I don't need to carry either of the kids in our out of the house or up / down the stairs. Thats pretty big for me not to have to do. I also dont need to put them in the car, they go in themsleves and even partially strap themselves in. Thankfully I haven't fallen in a long time and for now I'm going to stay AFO-less even though i do want to get it at some point. (really stupid reason why i dont haev AFOs, I just don't have a dr. to prescribe them). Anyway for now i;m ok without them. I use my handicapped card plenty and am grateful i have it.

I am not as active in the classroom as I'd like to be but I don't make myself crazy to do more. If i can get up and do stuff once or twice a week its enough, otherwise i;m mainly sitting. recently my school sent me to a 'Move to Improve' workshop which I should not have skipped. It was teaching good and fun movement games for the kids. I should have realized it would be too much but I like days off so I went. It was a LOT of standing on my feet and moving around. The moving around is not hard, the standing on my feet was. First I tried standing near a heater and leaning on it, than I took a chair and sat on the top. My coworker (who doesnt know my situation) asked if I was ok, she thought I was diabetic and has a sugar low or s/t :). I explained the situatoin breifly and shes like 'if you want to leave in the middle, Ill take your certificate'. I;m really glad I stuck it out, challenging as it was, its good to know that it is still physcilly possible.

Hope to post more soon.....