SAHM in Brooklyn

(Or Living as a Refugee part II)

(sorry its been such a long while, ive been without Internet, doing this at work).

So Sunday 11/4 was here. A full week after we left our home, rolling our eyes, expecting to be back any day. Ad went into the area to do work for people. People needed offices moved to locations with power and some residents did have power. It was good he was getting back to work. When you work for yourself and miss a week for weather related crap, its a good quarter of a paycheck down. The plan at that point was for him to come back and sleep with us and the whole family to go back to our area the next day. At that point, both of the kids schools were hoping to open via generators and a good friend of mine who lives not too far said we could come sleep there if needed. So I figured one more day, not bad. I hung out at home with kids taking it easy. Made macaroni and cheese for lunch and cleaned the pot very well so it didnt look like I was messing up their kitchen. I also checked my email and Shains school was not ready for tomorrow. Boo. Oh well. We'll figure out tomorrow later, lets focus on today. What to do with kids.

I checked online and just as I thought, the library that was a couple of avenues away was not only opened on Sunday (most arent) but they had some sort of Kindergarten program going for kids 3-5, perfect for my little ones. I borrowed my cousins double stroller and walked there. When was the last time I walked anywhere? It was tiring but good to get out and walk. The library was stroller friendly, with an elevator and the program was fantastic. Apparently it was the last of a 6 week session so not only was there the usual reading and songs but there was this cute sink-float experiment, a static electricity thing with balloons and a growing thing with beans. PLUS each kid got a book and pencil when leaving and a balloon. Score one for the displaced Lej family! We hung out a little longer at the library. It was not so pleasant as it was super hot and the kids spent most of the time playing with or watching these dumb computers. Why do they need to have it in libraries right near all the boolks?! My cousin ended up joining us with her kids and we went home soon after. There was leftovers for dinner, kids got bathed and put to bed (oh right it was daylight savings so they were exhausted!). Ad came home and we decided to get sushi. We found a new place right down the block that had sushi and had a 50% off deal. Ad went a little nuts and ordered 3 rolls, two of which were expensive! So it ended up being a lot. But these little things made the whole situation more manageable. I also found out that Yak's school wasnt starting the next day either. OK at least neither will be going in....and I guess im sticking around just ONE more day.

Monday 11/5. A friend of mine from Bayswater (R) is staying at her in-laws 11 blocks away. Her big boys didnt have school and thats really rough. They put together a makeshift school in a center somewhere from 10-11:30 and she was going to come visit between then. It was soooo good to see her. Her basement was completely flooded. Ad went to see it and saw a mattress and computer floating around. So sad. It will take a lot longer for life to get back to normal for her. Anyway it was soo nice to see her and commiserate with another refugee, one worse off than we were. Our kids played together for an hour and a half and we decided to meet at library again later.

I decided to treat myself and kids for lunch. I found a place not too far that I thought took credit card. Went in, ordered a nice salad and veggie slice for myself and pizza and fries for kids. Total was $20. I was about to pull out cc when I saw a sign that they only take cash. ATM next door. I dont have cash. My heart started to sink. There was my delicious salad. The guy was asking how did I want the pizza cut. I was STARVING. And I didnt have enough money to pay for it. I started stammering 'can i pay by check?' they said no. What am I going to do. My kids were climbing on the table. I started pulling ones out of my pocketbook The owner asked 'how much do you owe?' I said '10' and he just kinda looked at me like not sure what to tell me. I started tearing up as i said 'I'm not from here. I'm displaced and I thought you took credit card'. And of course once that came out, I just started crying. I'm so bad like that once the tears started. The guy said I should just come pay it later and be brought the food. I saw there just wiping the tears away. My kids seemed oblivious. All the craziness of the last week+ were just catching up and once I start crying forget it. The owner was like 'eat while its hot' which only made me cry more. Eventually I got my act together and enjoyed the food. That was my one sorta breakdown the entire time i was away. The rest of the day was fine, library was more staring at computer and a drop of reading. My aunt made ziti for dinner. Ad brought home some 'relief sandwiches' later. Found out Yak had school next day, Shain still didnt. Fine Ad will bring him in morning and R said shed take him home.

Tuesday 11/6
Hard night of sleep cuz boiler overheated and had to wake up aunt and uncle at 2 AM to fix it. They said it was good cuz prob saved them a broken boiler or maybe even a fire. Sent Yak to school, gave Shain my iPad to watch shows and went back to sleep til 10. Just me and Shain today so figured we could take a train or bus somewhere. Was going to try another library program which started at 1. Took some rice cakes and cheese to go and went to the Q train. One stop to the next station and a bus to the library. It ended up taking way way longer than I thought. Bus took forever to come, didnt get on till almost 1. But I realized as we were riding that Shain didnt need to really go anywhere. As a 'burb girl, we barely ever took trains or busses and unlike the subway from my moms house, this one goes outside! She was in heaven saying 'whee, this is sooo fun!' So I figured just riding it may be enough. I also realized if we rode the bus a bit further, we could take another train to my moms work. That would be fun! The D train station actually had an elevator which added to the fun and my mom was thriilled to see us. We enjoyed her lunch break together while shain colored with highlighter markers. Here are some pics from our day. It was really a lot of fun.



   

Shain on the train with her baby, Waiting for the bus

Bubby and Shain at her office


On the way back we had to wait a long time for the bus. It was getting cold and Shain was getting impatient. I was massively stressed trying to connect Ad with my friend R who was supposed to bring Yak home but didnt have her cell phone on her. At sons school, they told Ad that she had already left. Ad's phone was low battery and service was spotty so we were texting. In the middle of everything I got insuffecient funds for texting. I have 1000 a month and was due to refill automatically the next day. Usually its more than enough texts but not this month. So Shain is kvetching, its getting cold and I dont know how my son is getting home and I cant reach Ad (he wanted to sleep in the area that night). I'm freaking out. Finally the bus comes and its PACKED. Mommy warned me its usually packed and you cant always make it on. I tried squishing in the back and this mean guy wouldn't let me on. I was like 'I have a little girl with me...'. This other nice lady says 'she's pregnant, let her come on' and somehow I managed to get on. It was very crowded but Shain was a sport. eventually someone even gave me a seat so we both got to sit and stand together. R called to tell me she was waiting for Yak at her moms place. Couldnt reach Ad, had mom text him. called him again and he answered yay! He had already started to drive Yak to Brooklyn but turned around when he heard R was still around. I was masively relieved that they all connected and that we were on our way home.

Got back, went online, refilled my texting and chilled. I had to walk to get Yak from R's in-laws. It was starting to get really cold and i didnt have my winter coat. It was a 12 block walk with stroller and we had done a bunch of walking and stairs earlier. I was getting tired. But i couldnt ask anyone for a ride cuz of the whole gas situaiton. Got to R's in-laws. It was warm and yummy food was cooking. Gave Yak a big hug and we ended up staying for dinner. God bless R's MIL who cooked delicious food and insisted on driving me home. At this point, we once again heard that Yaks school was opened on Wed but not Shains - her school had been flooded so each time they thought they would be ready with generators or whatnot, another issue popped up. We also knew that a Noreaster' was coming our way the next day with winds and snow :(. Just what we needed. I decided I was going to keep Yak home the next day after all the drama of gettging him back, just wasnt worth it. Ad was going to sleep at home but realized it made more sense to come back to a warm, powered up Brooklyn and do work from there the next day. Was really great to see him at night. Oh btw it was also Election Day. I barely even cared.

Wed 11/7
Cold and rainy. So glad Ad and car was around. Couldnt imagine doing trains and buses in this weather. We went to another library but it was a babyish program. i didnt care. It was something to do. We went out for lunch and had a great time eating homemade warm rolls and soup, perfect for a rainy gross day. Came back about 2 and it was starting to snow. So glad to be inside. Gave the kids the tablet and conked out. At this point Shain's school was supposedly DEFINITELY going to be open tomorrow. They were ready and generators working so we were all going to go in THrusday morning. Except. It was now snowing. This was the email we got late Wed night: 'Due to this ridiculous weather and the unsafe road conditions we have made the very difficult decision to close all divisions tomorrow. We are truly sorry.'
Could you just cry for how frustrated these poor principals and school officials must have been? All other local schools were also closing. Remember it still wasnt safe to drive with downed wires and non worknig traffic lights. My sons school was wavering: This was their email.

'We are having a very hard time making a decision about closing school for tomorrow.
The roads now are not great but the weather prediction is for snow to turn to rain by midnight , ending at 2 A.M. Additionally now much of the power that was restored has gone out again, perhaps it would be better for children to be in yeshiva then in a cold dark house.
We will decide tomorrow morning between 6-6:30 A.M.'

I was so touched at how much they were trying to help the kids. So we figured they'd probably both be home another day. And I did another load of laundry but, for yet another day, I didnt pack up and wondered how we were going to spend Thursday.

Thurs 11/8
I check my email around 7ish JUST in case....and Yak has school! It was decent out and I so wanted to just be back in my area already. One of the hardest things of living in Brooklyn was that everyone there was living normally and I was stuck in this crazy funk wondering about the people and places back at home. So when I heard at least one of the kids had school it was the push I needed. I through things into suitcases and hampers and started getting the kids ready. We had a LOT to pack up. Ad had brought computer equipment and I had brought all of our laundry a full week before, adn already washed our stuff twice. Somehow we made it out around 9ish and began driving home. What a good feeling.

Got over the bridge. Beach Channel Drive looked like a war zone. HUGE garbage area in one area. lots of lights and emergency vehicles. still barely any lights but now there were crossing guards helping with traffic which helped. It was so nice to be back in 'Ground Zero' with others going through the same thing as we were. WE dropped Yak at school and went home. My eyes were tearing up as we got inside. The house looked so innocent and like nothing was going on. I wish we could just stay there. Shain was happy to play. I unloaded and arranged laundry. Dug out my winter coat and the kids hats, scarves and gloves and boots (it was in the 60s the rest of the weekend of course). We went to get my car from mechanic. Gulp, over $500. I spent the rest of the afternoon at the Chabad center where they had delicious food, wifi, warmth, kids activities, etc. Chanie W who runs it was so nice and inviting, telling everyone to eat and make themselves at home. The food kept switching for each meal. She made sure the table was nice and clean, telling one of the volunteers 'this is someone's home, would you want to eat on a table like this?'.  We left to go to the OB.and thats all anyoen talked about. My OBs home and other office got flooded. Its amazing how far this affected people; folks from so many of the different areas of Long Island were affected just as much as the Rockaways. As I mentioned above, just good to be with others who arent going about their daily lives normally. In between talking about generators and flood insurance, the doctor assured me that 'babys heartbeat sounds good' and 'strep culture was done'. When I was told to make another appoinment in a week, it hit me that I was officially in my ninth month. When did that happen?! I was so busy running around I almost forgot I was pregnant at all! After I picked up Yak, I decided to go back to Chabad and that I didnt want to go back to Brooiklyn or to my mom in Manhattan. I wanted to stay put with my people and let the kids both go to school tomorrow, even though it was a short day. Chabad ended up having a ridiculous amount of good food for dinner and I then crashed at a friends house. Ad didnt want to come and roughed it at home. I ended up sleeping in the family room of this friend, kids shared a big mattress and I slept on the couch. There was a bed in an extra room down the hall but I didnt want Shain to freak out when she didnt see me there the next morning. So I didnt get the best night of sleep but it was worth knowing the kids were happy.

Friday, Saturday, 11/9-10
Good to be going back to Mommy and I looked forward to catching up on some R & R. Interstingly even though I had no work for two weeks, I still found myself exhausted and barely able to do anything. I just kinda got through each day without doing much more. On the way to Mommy, I commented to Ad that we were coming full circle -- almost 2 weeks ago we were driving this very route laughing at the fact that we had to evacuate...felt like so much longer than just weeks but also felt like a big funk and not two full weeks.

Shabbos was nice. My brother and I got into a whole arguement of whether I was allowed to feel sorry for myself because, in essence, I didnt lose anything. Just misplaced and uncomfortable but its a temporary inconvenience. Whatever, everyone besides him empathized and agreed that it was a tough sitch to be in. And I wasnt moaning and groaning, just feeling a little sorry for myself. I was grateful for many things, and I tried to keep reminding myself but it was OK to be real about the challenges of constantly being on the move. At this point, noone really knew when power was coming on and we were even hearing rumors of 2-4 weeks....well into when baby is due!!! I hoped it wasnt true. Sat nite Ad and I went out to Tiberias. We both love that place, modern but cozy and warm. We truly enjoyed it.

Sunday 11/11 - I told Ad he could go home. My nieces were making my sister and BIL an anniversary party for dinner in Queens, so I figured we'd sleep there. ITs crowded (3 BR for their family of 8) but one night was doable. Then, I heard some great news. My work had power on and parts of my area were getting power back!! maybe even by today!! Also heard on the radio that by Tuesday at midnight, 99% of our area should have power. So exciting!  Spent the day with mom and SIL. Went to a chinese auction but the kids were bored besides for making cookies which we left at my sister by mistake. The party was adorable, my nieces are so good at this stuff. As the day was progressing without good news from my block, I staretd getting disappointed. I really was hoping to sleep at home :(. Oh well, i dug out PJs and clothing for next day and we slept at my sister. I swear there were 7 kids in one bedroom. My kids loved it but they did not get a lot of sleep that night.

Mon 11/12 - Dropped kids off at school, despite 'observed' Veterans Day. I had a meeting at 10. Went home still no power :(. WEnt to work, might as well. Internet is down there. So good to see my coworkers. Hugs and stories were exchanged and we called parents to tell them that there was school the next day. Before I picked up kids, went home again. still no power :(. It seemed like the rest of the neighborhood had. Yaks morah said he wasnt himself and was fallng asleep. Not surprised. It was a very nice day out so I decided that we could just hang out at home until the last possible minute. Which we did. It was so nice to hang out at home. I put on shower to get steam in and the oven to get extra warmth in kitchen. I rested on couch in playroom and dreamed of lights working. I, once again, packed up clothing for the night and next day and decided to head to a kind friend who offered her place. 4:30 started getting dark so I knew we had to leave already. I saw some LIPA trucks on my block and figured I'd ask them if anything was new on my way back. Headed to the local YI where they were serving supper for the last time.  Would rather not bother the kind friend for dinner besides for lodging. Supper wasnt there yet. So i decided to just go to my friend. ON way there, passed my block, figured I'd ask the LIPA guys. I saw a light on my block and figured it was my neighbors with generators. Then I looked again.

It was coming from my house. The playroom lights were shining through the window and the outdoor lights of my very own house were on. Cue Christmas music. THe street lights were starting to come on, one at a time. I pulled into the driveway and started to cry. 'Guys do you see that?!' They were confused why I was crying. I just could not believe my eyes. This nightmare was finally starting to come to an end. I went back to YI were dinner had come, and ate it heartily surrounded my neighbors and friends, so grateful to be going home later. THe kids were NOT happy that they werent going to a friends house and they complained but i didnt care. I brought them inside and went around switching lights on and off, jumping up and down each time. Gave them a bath and through them right into bed. The heat wasnt on yet but it was OK. They both fell FAST asleep and slept 13 hours straight, for all their partying, they also needed their beds.

At this point the phones, internet and heat was not working. But the power was on. And we, for the moment, were not displaced and were back in our very own home. And nothing could be better.

TBC - rest of the week, thoughts on the whole experience and how I recuperated.

Living as a refugee

I'm tired. I dont have energy to write coherently and organized but i want to put my thoughts down, so bear with me. I have been living as a refugee the past 10 days. Its ridiculous. People who live at home with power and lights and heat, appreciate it!

Ill start the timeline from last weekend, Oct 27. It was a gorgeous shabbos. we all commented how this was the 'calm before the storm'. I had lots of sleepover company and some guests for lunch. It was a calm and enjoyable day. We had kinda talked at work that day about the 'what ifs' of Hurricane Sandy and stuff but the truth is we were all poo-pooing it. Remember, Irene had come just 14 months before with a lot of hoopla and very little damage. So we werent too concerned.

Sunday 10/28, I decided to take my kids to a free science museum (if you get there by 11). I figured there was a chance i'd be stuck at home monday and maybe even tuesday if it was reeally bad, so lets give the kids a fun time. we had a super time there.

At abut noon, I started getting calls and texts from my brother and mom 'Are you in Zone A?' 'come to the Lower East Side'. My bro and SIL were there anyway. And apparently the mayor was calling for us to evacuate, just like by Irene. School was already cancelled for tomorrw. I called Ad and asked if we were indeed supposed to leave. FIrst he thought no, then realized yes. OK, so I left museum after lunch and came home. Packed for two days and figured it was more than enough, we would be back by Monday or Tuesday the latest after the non storm. Packed a bunch of leftovers, got to Mommy about 4:30 and enjoyed the rest of the night in good spirits. Kinda fun to be forced to spend family time on a random October night. Even a little exciting. Thought about going to get some food but it seems most places were taking these warning seriously and were closed. So glad I wasnt due yet, was just imaginging how awful it would be if I was.

Monday 10/29 - it was windy and rainy but not TOO bad. We kinda felt like school didnt HAVE to be cancelled but ok it was. As the day progressed the winds picked up. Mom doesnt have wi-fi so I walked a block away to see if I could get it elsewhere on my tablet. I ended up deciding it was too rainy and windy but I passed an opened $.99 store and bought the kids coloring books and each their own box of crayons. It ended up being a great thing cuz they used it very often. Its getting later and we can really hear the winds howling. We felt safe cuz it was in an apt buildling. Ad calls it 'Helms Deep'. Shaain needed a change of scenery so we walked through the buildling and hung out in the laundry room where we found We watched some of the coverage and realized it was pretty bad in some places. I also finally got brave enough to borrow wifi from a neighbor and got back onlne. Ahhhh. GOod to be connected again. I also started seeing some freaky pictures of what was all going down back in our hometown of Far Rockaway. OMG. Good thing we evacuated. A street in my neighborhood and my daughters school:

 

My kids were having a hard time sleeping cuz of the noise. The building and Facbook people and the radio were warning that we might lose power. We didnt really believe it but halfheartedly looked for some flashlights and battery operated radios (and batteries), coming up with the former but not really the latter. And about 8:30, all power went off adn we were like 'ohhhhh' altogether. Shaina cried and we comforted her. We lit candles, put on flashlights and started to look again for a radio and/or batteries, this time with more ernestness. My husband and SIL were laughing at us as myself, mom and brother scrambled here and there searching. We needed SOME sort of connection. Mommy found a big radio that took 6 D batteries and she started emptying out flashlight batteries but it wuldnt work. Finally brother borrowed 4 new batteries from a neighbor in a different section (which meant going up and down in pitch black stairwell). Mommy put it in, played around and voila! Noise from the radio!! What a releif to feel connected again and we sat there for at least an hour just listening to what we were realizing was a really bad situation.

Tuesday 10/30 dawned pretty nice. Storm was over. Great. Ad was itching to get out of there. He wanted to go home and check out the situation. Like right then. I wasnt ready, told him to go ahead and maybe wed come back later. I needed time to pack and regroup and stuff. But one thing was clear. Between not having any more clothing and being in a fortress that was 5 flights high without power or water (oh did I mention that, they go off together in her building), there was no point in staying much longer. We made some lunch on the stovetop and the kids colored as I tried to reach Ad numerous times. It was very challenging because service was spotty and the batteries were running low. At 3 or so I figured if I didnt hear from him i might try to go to Brooklyn or something with my mother where they had electricity. I finally heard from him like 3:30. He told me that a lot of homes had flooded basement as did our synagouge but our home was thankfully dry and untouched. 

There was no power anywhere in the area but we did have water, both hot and cold. i told him to come get me and packed up while we waited. Finally he came. We went down and saw the supermarket across the street had a line to get in. They were letting one person at a time. i didnt see the point of shopping without a refrigerator. 

Driving home was a relief. Jut to get air. It was also bizarre, especially as we got closer to the roads to our home. No lights anywhere, including traffic lights. Very scary. Cars abandoned in streets - cuz of no gas? Worry about flooding? Trees down all over. We got home, lit candles and put on flashlights and made some chicken nuggets for dinner. Our old oven is on gas and worked great. After kids went to bed, Ad and I watched a movie on a netbook that has a long battery life. It was challenging but doable. 

Wed, 10/31. I cant begin to tell you how much we appreciate morning and the sunlight. We can do things!! Lots of it! Without any help! I took hot shower which was great, gave kids cereal and finished the milk. Delicious coffee. Yay for running water even if we had to boil it in a pot instead of our urn. Surprisingly fridge and freezer stuff was decent. I put some stuff in freezer that i wanted to keep fresh. Did a little cleaning. Kids were happy to be home and played beatifully. Ad was called to do some computer work at a community center about 10 minutes away. They were up and running and from the first block in the greater area to get power back already. They were offering hot food and a place to recharge. Ad was there since 10, I only came about 2ish. Didnt realize what was going on cuz email was down, otherwise for sure would have came earlier. There was really good food and places for kids to play, videos, etc. I recharged my ipad and phone and felt so good to be able to surf again. Surfing and being connected further made me realize what a crazy situation it was. boardwalks and homes were washed away. Tons of people homeless. Fires burned down some homes not too far from us. People had died from trees and drowning. Manhattan, the metropolis of the world was not enterable from most bridges and tunnels which shut down train systems as well. At least on the lower end, there was no getting in or out and no power. HOV rules were being enacted. I was glad i was no longer there. Some pics for those who havent seen any:

http://gothamist.com/2012/11/01/photos_haunting_photos_of_the_rocka.php

Anyway, We left the warm lit center at 4:30 to get home before dark. Both wanted to refill our cars with gas and knew it wouldt be too easy. Thankfully it wasnt too hard either as we only had to go to three gas stations and wait for about 10 minutes at the last one. Only in the days to come did we realize how ridiculously dire the gas situation was and still is. Still the whole thing took time and it was getting dark as we were going home. My car also hit something at some point and was making a very funny sound. I was glad kids were with Ad. I slowly made my way home. It was one of the scariest rides of my life. getting dark, scraping noise and no lights once we entered our community. It was hard to see everyone crossing the streets and the last intersection before my house was big and petrifying. Thanfully I made it but boy was it scary. I threw together 'hurricane meatballs' (mixed random sauces that i needed to finish up) and rice and put kids to bed. Since the little netbook was charged we got to watch two movies. Not much else to do in the dark. That night I started getting tired of not having electricity. I also was very scared overnight, kept thinking I was hearing looters. I knew there were patrolers around but still I kept thinking my neighbors broken fence was someone breaking in. I resolved to go to brooklyn the next day.

Thursday 11/1. Somehow it was November. Yay. morning again! Time to be productive! I cleaned some more, confirmed with my aunt in brooklyn that we could come for shabbos and started packing. Im definitely more productive when there are basically zero distractions to slow me down. It was 60+ hours that we were living without power. Not so fun. Ad went back to center with my cell phone to charge it, it was nearly dead. so no way to reach anyone at all. Yikes. It was a relief to leave at about 4:30. I brought ALL my laundry besides for towels. Ad thought I was nuts. I knew i was smart. Who knew when i'd have a chance again and how long I'd be in Brooklyn. The drive in was nuts. We drove half the way with no traffic lights. All the way up the Rockaway Peninsula. Actually went pretty fast because we were on the main road. Saw army trucks coming the other way. Saw a bunch of torn down gates by the water and debris all over. It was such a relief to get to Brooklyn and have power once again. I did lots of laundry THursday night but didnt fold it. Some other people from my area were staying there too and it was a bit tight cuz they were in basement with us. Thankfully they were leaving for Shabbos. Bro and SIL came as well, nice to see them again. They had to leave car on LES cuz no gas and came by public transportation.

Friday and Shabbos 11/2-3. Good to have a normal morning. Folded laundry. Aunt and Uncle have a huge 2-family home that they converted into a big one family. Cousins live on top floor with 5 kids, they live on bottom. Each floor has 3 bedrooms. Basement has two newly added small bedrooms plus a small main area to play. Took kids out for pizza. lots of people around for shabbos. My family and bro and SIL staying in basement. Cousin from Lakewood has no power and are staying on first floor along with single cousin who lost power in his dorm. TOp floor also has cousin's sister and her 3 kids from Elizabeth, no power either. Anyway both floors had full meals and it was a lot of fun, maybe just a tad overwhelming to be with so many othyer people. Saturday nite a bunch of us went out to Cafe Hadar. Why not. Kids are sleeping and there is babysitting at home, might as well take advantage. I'm realizing these little things are keeping us sane throughout this whole ordeal. At this point, while people were finding out that power was going back all over Jersey (my mom had gotten it back before Shabbos), we were getting news it would probably take weeks longer. Weeks. Like as in the week we just completed. its easy to stay upbeat and happy and positive for a few days or a week. Longer than that it can get near impossible. :(

** Tired and so happy that Ad is home, he told me he'd be staying home tonight but he came in the end. So i'll continue this tomorrow. We're up to week 2 of ordeal, sunday 11/4.

busy sunday

** way harder than it should be to find free wifi in Manhattan....finally on a Starbucks during break. Crazy day but going well. this is typed up last night **


October 20, 2012
i'm here at my moms place after a very enjoyable and relaxing Shabbos. We spent some quality time together and some relatives were visitng from out of the area so we got to see them too. THis post will either get posted or not. Mommy does not have Internet access, crazy as it sounds, so I have less distractions and can just type but not sure if I'll be able to post anywhere. Ad went home right after Shabbos and left me with this cute little netbook so I can entertain myself. So its just me and the kids for right now and I'm excited for my super busy day tomorrow.
FOr those who dont know, Sunday is usually a slow day for me. I do the single Mom thing as Ad works (for himself but customers need him on weekends and its a good day for him to get thisngs done). So I usually either hang out with the kids at home and do laundry / cleaning / errands or sometimes I take the kids places. But I generally dont have much going on on Sundays.  The past few Sundays have basically been eaten up by holidays so in a way this is my first real free Sunday in a long time.

And as luck would have it, two pretty amazing things are going on tomorrow - events that Id normally be thrilled to just do one of and I couldnt believe they were taking place the same day. I'm going to try and swing both, they are both that important and that infrequently taking place.

The first is a full day course in a topic I am very interested in - its basically bridging two very succsesful and proven methods to deal with special needs kids, especially with autism. I won't bore you with details, if you are not in th e feild, it probably won't be too meaningful. But they offer this full day course once a year and I really believe in the 'Floortime'/DIR method as a method for helping really ANY kids, not just kids on the spectrum. THere was a time I wanted to get more certified and knowledgeable in this area and was even willing to travel to get certified, I believed in it that much. But school didnt always have funding and I didnt want to pay out of pocket. A couple of years back, the guy in charge of the Floortime technique died and it split into two different tracks, one of which was right in New Jersey. Last year they offered a similar course, but again, no funding. We found in the summer that they are offering this course again in October and my work has funding. Yay! Myself and two coworkers who are as interested as me in this topic signed up right away. 'It's months away and I'll figure out what to do with the kids as it gets closer'. And then I pushed it to the back of my mind.

Then a few weeks ago, we heard really exciting news. Bernadette is an awesome CMT gal who actually produced a movie about CMT. I met her mid-production at one CMT event and actually spoke at a question-answer thing, not sure if its on the video or not. Anyway, after years of hard work, it was finished and produced several months back. I really wanted to see it but couldnt make it to Philly for the opening. So a month or so ago we found out that Bernadettes film would be playing at a film festival right here in NYC!! Amazing! I saw that it was over a weekend and my first thought was 'I hope its not Friday nite or Saturday' (shabbos for me). It wasnt, it would be shown on a Sunday! Yay! So I went about trying to figure out who I could take and who would want to go with me. This one was busy, that one couldnt commit so early, the next one needed to watch his football games on Sunday. Sigh. By the time I turned around, two sessions had already been booked. I emailed the guy in charge and found out that there would be one more showing at 4:15! Yay! And not only that but my good online friend who I had yet to meet, Michele, said she bought a bunch of tickets! I asked Ad if he might be interested in taking off time from his busy day and joining and he said 'sure'. Great, I had a partner to go with and a chance to meet Michele and see the film, so I booked the two tickets and was set.

I looked at the date and was like 'why is that so familiar?'. After a quick search in my email, I noticed it was the same date as my conference. At first I was really upset. And I thought I guess id just cancel the conference. After a little more thinking, I realized I may just be able to swing both. Some thoughts that came to me were:  1) They are bothg in Midtown, one at 34th and 7th and one at 44th between 8th and 9th. Easy enough to get to both. 2) The kids are already taken care of (at that point I had enlisted my Moms babysitting services). 3) Its a good thing I didnt get one of the earlier movies - the 4:15 could work out. I checked the program and it would mean just missing one parent presentation and a question answer session. So I think it could work out.

And here I am, typing in the wee hours Sat nite / Sun morning. Need to be up in 6-7 hours to get ready for my busy day. I hope I can upload this at the conference if I get there early enough. So pumped to learn and question and than meet and greet and learn some more. I'm a drop nervouse that the film will be somewhat depressing as its mainly about Bernadette and I know shes very badly affected by the disease. HOpefully it wont be all negative and the good will far outweigh any bad.

Hope this goes up sometime during the day! Cant wait!

Gaining weight

I scheduled my last OB appointment for this past Thursday. Two days after the holidays finished. What was I thinking. I gained 7 lbs. This is sooo not OK. I know, I know, its after the holiday and it was 5 weeks, not 4, and I was wearing my heavy denim skirt and I'm pregnant for heavenes sake, I'm allowed to gain weight!

But 7 lbs since my last appointment is just not OK. That would average 63 lbs a pregnancy. OMG. Luckily I havent gained that much so far. But I definitely gained a good 25 lbs and they say not to gain much more than 25-30 for a woman of my height and weight.

Its hard. I was so good last year. I went to a doctor and realized I was 10 lbs heavier than every other year. I decided right then to lose weight. And I did. I excersized on my elliptical. I ate healthy. I joined a weight loss program which I won 4 free weeks to (and stopped after the initial free trial ended). I lost over 30 lbs. I looked great and felt great. I got lots of compliments and my husband was thrilled with my new body :).  But dieting aint easy. Saying no to yummy foods and sugars and carbs and treats and yes to veggies and stuff is not fun. Even if its not all of the time. But it was worth it. How does that saying go: 'There's nothing that tastes as good as looking good feels' something to that affect.

And than I got pregnant. And its like when you are pregnant, you have 9 precious months where you are SUPPOSED to eat. And you are eating for 2. And you have all of the excuses in the world. And excuse myself I did. Back to cakes with my coffee, pasta, pizza, treats, etc etc. Because why not. I'm allowed. I know its temporary but let me just gorge and enjoy myself while I have this great excuse to. But I'm overdoing it. And I'm noticing my chin is bigger and my face is fuller which have nothing to do with my expanding belly. I cant go so crazy even though 'I can'. its not worth it long term.

At least the 25 lbs I gained is after I lost it all. And I hope to not gain much more and to lose most of the weight after the baby....I Guess we'll see. Nursing may throw things off too. In any case, at least to know that I have the wherewithal and ability to diet if I wanted to which I do hope to do some time down the road. I've been eating a bit better since the holidays ended. I'd love to not gain any weight in my next appointment in two weeks (I'm officially starting my bimonthly appointments now that I'm in my 8th month!!!!) I can let myself have treats and eat normally without stuffing my face. So thats the plan. I'll see what happens at my next appointment and keep you updated so I hold myself accountable!

Me and good (skinny) friend - July 2011 and July 2012

On being pregnant with CMT

The five of us blogging CMT gals have really reached many people and keep raking up the hits. We officially have a real domain name instead of just a blog name, www.cmtclicks.com.

Heres my latest post: http://www.cmtclicks.com/2012/09/on-being-pregnant-with-cmt.html

New post on dating

I am part of a CMT group that is blogging together on one blog in honor of CMT Awareness month. I wrote about my experiences with dating and CMT, so head over there and enjoy!

http://cmtclicks.blogspot.com/2012/09/cmt-and-blind-dating-in-my-circles.html

I fell today

Lets give a good ol' We Love CMT Cheer! Oh and it wasnt in the privacy of my home either. It was on the very crowded steps of my daughter's school on the very first day of pickup. Good job Esther.

To backtrack a drop, y'all know how busy i've been. Today was the official first full day for both my kids. They go to two different big schools a few minutes from one another; Yak is in an all boys school, Shain is in an all girls schools. And they are both humongous. Very different from the 15 kids in a basement playgroup they went to last year. So today was my first day of pickup. i wanted to be early. For the kids sake, and cuz I knew the closer you get to dismissal (3:00) the crazier pickup gets. First I got Yak at 2:40. his shcool shares a campus with my work. I figured I'd zip in, grab him, zip out to my parking lot and get to Shain at 2:50, still on the early end. Avoid the whole 'carpool lane' in just one school. Yeah. I didnt factor two things in. 1 - my darling son didnt want to go with me. He WANTED to wait til the other kids got picked up. So it was a song and dance til I got him to come. Then, the gate leading back to the lot was locked and noone was there to open it for a good 5 minutes. Poor Yak was impatient and tired and so was I. I have to get myself one of those cards so I can do this normally next time.

Fine, we finally get to Shain about 3. Still not awful. Now its my first time EVER doing this. Where do I wait? What do I do? I drive here and there and finally find the carpool line. It stretched down the block. And Around. The. Corner. OK, I decide to find a spot and go get her. Yak gave me a hard time cuz he wanted to stay inside but I managed to convince him to go and maybe wed play in the 'park' (school playground). Fine, we go in, Shain is standing in this HUGE and crowded gym where people with walkie taklies are radioing who is getting picked up next. I was glad I parked. Gave Shain a hug, started to leave. And then. Thats when it happened. THere are 3 small stairs. Two kids pulling me. A long skirt. A different mom that I recognized and started to chat with. I knew it was happening as it happened. I went down and scraped my legs. I pushed the mom down I was talking with who was holding a baby and Shain fell. Really awesome. Lots of people out there too. The good news was that the other mom wasnt hurt and neither was Shain although she started to cry (duh). The other good news was it was such a hectic time that it wasnt like I stopped traffic and the whole world was like "OMG are you OK?!'" I got a couple of that and so did other mom but when they saw I moved, they went on to other stuff. I was, of course, mortified. And in pain. Big scrapes on both legs and swelling too. Sigh.

To make the rest of the day short, Shain stopped crying right away. I hobbled along. The gaurd didnt let us play in the playground cuz other kids were there. Yak was not happy. On the way back to the car I passed a sort of aquaintance who lived there who let us play in her yard for a few minutes. I got the kids back in the car and in this point I'm really feeling it. Somehow I make it hope and thankfully Ad is there and he helps us in. I kinda collapse with all the stuff and wash my scrapes in the tub (owwww!). Then he has to leave. I knew that later that night I had an engagement party and appointment at a kids clothing store and need to get to both around 9. Oh and did I mention I get no sleep anymore cuz baby keeps me up and in the bathroom. Seriously I got 5 hours of sleep last night. So Im exhausted.

At this point its almost 4. I'm just grateful I'm home and can rest a bit. I grabbed some dermoplast from the bathroom (yay for having had babies and getting that stuff from the hospital!) and it helped numb the pain. A bit of ice goes on. And then put my feet up, lay back on the couch and head to la-la land. My kids were angels, I only had to half yell at them twice. I slept till 5:30! I promised them both 'Mitzvah notes', which are good deeds they do that we write to the teachers and they feel all proud. Thankfully Ad had put up pasta earlier so we had dinner, did the bath thing and into bed they went. I was supposed to do a shopping with kids after school but obviously that never happened. Yak is in a size 3 diaper and I hope he doesnt wet the whole bed. But if he does, we'll deal with it. When kids are finally in bed, I help myself to some delicious comfort food of macaroni and cheese and eat way more than my share. In bed. While playing these addictive mystery games on my iPad that Ad and I have been enjoying together. I realize I left my phone in the car but I dont care. I needed that total recovery and me time to just get over everything.

Well its getting late now and I have to get dressed and do the rest of the stuff including a small shopping (always easier without the kids). I feel a lot better physically and emotionally as well. Its funny, there were points in my life a fall like this would have devestated me and humiliated me and made me want to die. And I think I am ok. I mean i was in pain and embarassed but I got over it quickly. And was grateful the kids were fine. People do fall, even non CMTers so honestly I dont need to sit and cry about it. I havent fallen in a while and god willing wont for a long time to come. Alright, going to get dressed for party and run. Thanks for listening!