Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Its been a while...

Things have been ridiculously busy since June.

I'm a special ed preschool teacher so June means graduation, quarterlies, reports, end of year projects, etc. i also make the slideshow for the graduation (of 60+ kids). The first two years i worked a guy came and got paid for doing it. I turned to my boss after the second year and said 'I can do this'. So they gave me the job, and without tooting my horn, I did a better job for less money.

OK, Esther, we get why June was busy. But now it's mid-July. whats your excuse? So my director was leaving after 18 years and nothing was being done. A bunch of us teachers came together and decided to Just. Do. It. And i offered to make a video. Not the easy, nerdy, 'pics with music' slideshow but a full movie with interviews, pics, video clips, words, sound effects, etc. And i had never done this before. But DH got me a new gorgeous computer and the Cyberlink Director software and off I went. There were a lot of politics with what i could and couldnt' include and I spent hours and hours on it. But come the night of the dinner, it came out stunning. Everyone was crying. I ended the video with her favorite song. I stuck in kids singing along with a backround song. It was gorgeous. I wish I could upload it.

I love being able to do amazing things. No one else at work would have even offered this or had the creativity, willpower, brains or energy to video tape people, put everything together and edit it the way I could. I love the fact that I did something awesome despite my CMT (and sitting with my hand on the mouse can hurt after a while!). So thats done and i'm now recovering and slowly getting back to life.

In other CMT news, I love love love my handicapped licence. Its changing how I feel about shopping in big places. I did get my first 'why are you in a handicapped spot'. Not because they didnt believe me but because i hadnt hung the little sign up yet. It was a little embarrassing to have to answer to her that 'yes, I am handicappaed' and i felt a need to walk even clumsier when I lfet but it was fine. i dealt and moved on.

Also, awesome Bernadette has put together another trailer for her upcoming video. she asked people to send in videos of themselves but I already was in it so I dont think its necessary. A lot of people are posting stuff on the wall and spreading awareness, and one CMT friend encouraged me to do the same.

I wish I could. I want to. I want to shout it from the rooftops and let the world know that yes, I do have something a little crappy and somewhat limiting but it doesnt take away from who I am. Let people know why I'm sometimes tired and walk a little funny.

But I would get pity and I would get strange eyebrows raised and my sister would kill me because it puts a stigma on our family. Is it true that the more open you are about things, the less scary it is? I dont know. I dont know what to do. :(

1 comment:

  1. I got my handicapped permit in 1994 when I started graduate school. I was 25. It has made a world of difference for me. I truly understand about the raised eyebrows too. Makes me crazy but people can't see the CMT so they think I am not handicapped.