Thursday, June 2, 2011

Clumsiness and kids

Poor baby. He falls a lot. Has three scrapes on his knees and legs. Sound familiar? I really thought he would be my CMT-less kid who started walking right on time and wouldn't fall. I'm so sad that hes not. Who knows, maybe hes ok. but I look at him and feel guilty. S is also clumsier than most kids her age, but shes one year older than more steady. Any time i see her galloping on the cement, i cringe and pray that she doesnt fall. ANd when she crouches down and keeps the stance (something I cannot do), i secretly cheer.

Its ok. Y cries and than picks himself up. He doesnt seem to mind his scrapes. Hes really a baby in a lot of ways. He barely talks and always wants to be held. And hes over 2. Truthfully, I dont mind him being a baby. The two kids are so close in age that i dont mind having a kid and a baby. But i do want him to run around more and not be afraid of falling.

I used to be clumsy. i never understood why, in dance class, i couldn't get up without pushing the floor. I definitely tripped more than my friends but I didnt even realize it was connected to this weird disease that my uncle and brother have and we sort of have. Its so weird how little my dad was affected. i wish he was alive so i could talk to him and see his feet (and for other reasons :) ). I also had my share of dislocated knees (my whole family had them). But i didnt really feel like CMT affected me until I started to date and realized what a big deal it was.

I knew I might be passing on my CMT to kids. I'm ok with it. I mean obviously i kind of have to be. There is PGD but its not for us. SOmetimes I wonder how my DH is so OK with the possibility of passing CMT down. I love him for it. Plenty of guys (and girls) would not want it. But he kinda sees the big picture of whats important and that i am who I am despite (maybe because) of it, so no biggie. I am kinda torn of feeling like CMT is not really a big deal, just some minor inconvenience that thankfully doesnt affect the brain or lifespan and you can have a pretty normal life with it, good job, family, friends, etc. Than sometimes i'm like 'this is awful. it cripples you. youre so afflicted. Its the worst thing EVAR!'

I have a kid in my class thats so athletic and graceful. SOmetimes i dream of having a kid like that. who is everything i, and all my family members, aren't. My cousins are pretty athletic even though their fathers father had it (but not their father). Its not that important. I just would love for them to not be affected, or if affected, have it so its not a huge part of their lives. i hope by the time my kids are grown, there is a cure or a very easy way to make sure its not passed on.


  1. Genetics are a (insert curse word of your choice here). I'd tell you not to sweat it but you know that would be hypocritical as I had worried about everything from CMT to Duchennes with the Pud.

    IF they are affected, it is up to us to be CMT role models. I think that when they see that CMT is something we have but not who we are, they are already ahead of the CMT game.

    But that is jumping ahead...S and Y just may be your typical toddlers who are stymied by gravity.

    Hang in there Mama! :)

  2. Can relate CM2, I worry about my two bubs. My Miss 4 years is always jumping around and falling. Can't tell if it is normal or the possibility of something else-but so far she seems OK. No-one else in my family has this condition. I may be the one off or the starter of things-here's hoping it stops with me. I so relate to your mixed feelings about CMT being not too bad sometimes and a nightmare others. I'm with Nic, we can try our hardest to be positive role models and show our kids that we can achieve heaps in spite of our struggles.

  3. a 2 yr old scraping his knee IS normal. you should see my 3 yr old. and they tend to be clingy, too. just do what you're doing and don't worry too much about the future. you're a great mommy, doing a great job!! :)