Monday, December 24, 2012

Two weeks postpartum

We're almost 2 weeks AMB (after Meira Baila). I'm definitely on my way to recovery. My body is a lot back to itself, now I'm just dealing with normal fatigue of a new mom. I'm already (gulp!!) a third of my way through Maternity leave. How nuts is that. No clue what i'm doing for babysitting yet, but im working on that next week. Anyway Mira is a pretty good baby. She cries plenty but she nurses well and stays in bed with me at night so its not THAT exhausting. Slowly I'm getting back into doing things like laundry, some basic housework, climbing stairs, etc. This morning Ad had to go in to the city early (so he could park by 8 and get the early bird special) so I actually got both big kids dressed and ready! I had a friend take Yak to school and I actually took Shain to school! It was my first time behind the wheel and its a little adjustment just mentally to sharpen my instincts and focus more. It also took me a bit of time to warm the car up, get Mira ready and pack all her stuff into the car. After dropping off Shain, i went to WIC to get forms and than to my Dr and kids Dr to get stuff filled out. I treated myself to a bagel for brunch and wrote some thank you notes as I ate (third kid so less thank you notes than with the older ones ;) ). Then I went back home and rested while nursing Mira.

This week is definitely going to be busier than last week. As I get more into things I'm going to expect more of myself. I've been pumping every day (hate pumping but gotta get that milk stored and ready) and have been organizing my stuff and putting away maternity and stuff. But I have a bunch of things coming up this week.

To backtrack for a second - sorry brain is all over the place but wanna first write about past few days. We had a very nice and relaxing weekend. Mommy went away for Shabbos so I had my two oldest nieces from Queens come. They are 13 and almost 12 and are major helps. They can take care of babies and big kids, clean up, make salads, etc. I took great care of them and spoiled them when I was the young (rich) single aunt so I have no qualms asking for their help :). I actually love how things come full circle like this and I promised them that one day Shain and Mira (and maybe even Yak) would help them with THEIR kids!

On Sunday a lot of Ad's family was going to an aunt and uncle in Philadelphia. And even though it was a 3 hour drive, they dont keep Kosher (so we'd be bringing our own food) and - oh btw i am 10 days postpartum and have a newborn baby - we were still planning on trying to make the trip. And Ad was fasting until sundown, a Jewish fast. But in the end, there was an issue with their dog -- my kids are afraid of animals especially HUGE dogs like this aunt and uncle have. We asked if they could have the dog in a room or by a neighbor for the few hours wed be there. In response we got told not to come. Not 'hm, that may be hard but we still wanna see you, what can we work out?' But 'Forget it, uncle is going to be too nervous' They are older and never had kids so i get that it was overwhelming for them. And I'm sure it would have been very challenging for us so we were not too disappointed. Its just surprising to get that type of reaction - I was raised that family is THE most important thing in life and you do anything for them. I see my siblings and mom all the time and its so strange to me that others aren't on this same page. But anyway, Ad's mom is coming back in a month to see the baby so hopefully some of his sibs will come then as well. And I'm digressing. The point is we had a very relaxing Sunday instead. My bro and his wife came and we set up like 3-4 football games to play on various TVs and computers in the same room. There were a lot of important games to watch. Ad took kids out in afternoon so the rest of us chilled and watched football :).

We've been getting these awesome dinners every night. My friend set us up on a 'meal train' and we got over 3 weeks of friends and neighbors signing up to make dinner M-Th the past week and the ones coming up. Its so fun to get various different foods, fresh, hot and delivered to our door! And no cleaning up before or after. I really love our community even though I sometimes complain about some aspects of it. When I had my bigger kids, I got a few meals here and there but this is really amazing.

OK, back to my week. Tomorrow is Christmas....we dont celebrate obviously and the kids actually have school. But most adults have off :). Well Ad is taking advantage of no traffic and free Manhattan parking during the week (which happens all of 5 times a year on the Major legal holidays) and is going back to the client he was at today to finish networking stuff. I told him if he has to go again he should go next week on New Years. Anyway bro and SIL are here again and were going out for brunch tomorrow. Yay :). Wednesday I have a WIC appointment in morning. Yak has to come. Sigh. I'll bring him to school late I guess...or maybe pull him out and bring him back? I hope they take Ad's self-employed form as proof as income. They are so the type to give a hard time even though supposedly a supervisor OKed it on the phone. OK, so Wed night we have a wedding. Yay! A close friend of mine who was dating last year and after I knew I was pregnant I said 'You better end up getting married at a time I can come!' So 2 weeks postpartum is not THE best timing but its better than morning of. They were going to get married in Brooklyn but the hurricane messed up the hall and its not back yet so they actually changed the location to a hall in Woodmere, not far from us. We'll prob only go for 4 hours or so. Already booked my kids favorite babysitter. And of course, Mira comes with us so I can feed her and we can get all sorts of compliments on how cute she is :). Hope I'm not too tired to enjoy somewhat but at least we'll make a presence.

Thursday my work is having a party! Usually my work is off the whole Christmas - New Years break. This year, because they missed so many days due to Hurricane, they had to open Wed-Fri of this week. So they are making a big party with music, secret santas and good food. This is pretty big of my work. Usually they just put out some pizza and salad. Its nice they are doing more. And I plan on showing up with baby :). Its 11-12:30 which is perfect. I also have to hand in disability forms to sign and stuff. So that should be fun. And then, after that its Shabbos again! Ad was all like 'lets stay home again' and i'm like 'No way'. I feel like going to Mommy every single Shabbos that shes home until maternity leave finishes! The packing and shlepping is annoying, especially with three kids and a newborn and a small car. And its a lot more back and forth for him. But its soo much easier. As great as Ad is and as great as my nieces were, theres nothing like going to Mommy. She really takes care of me, takes the big kids, takes the baby and puts me to bed, etc. Plus its a small and cozy apt so less going up and down and all around. Its definitely warmer. My house can get a little drafty and her apt is warm and yummy (sometimes too hot i'll admit). And also my Manhattan friends can come visit Sat night or Sunday :). Its way easier for them to visit me there than to shlep all the way to Far Rockaway, especially the ones without cars. I already had one friend visit last time I was there and two more want to visit the next time i'm in. So we'll go and hang out there and if Ad needs to go back and forth a little, he'll survive.

OK, I'm just blabbering now. Glad I got back into writing. I spend most of my day in bed or on a couch (watching something from afar or on my iPad) so its hard to get into typing. But here and there i force myself to sit in a chair and actually do old fashioned web browsing and blog updating and stuff.


  1. I know family is the most important thing, but for people with dogs, esp. people with dogs and no kids of their own, their dogs are really just LIKE family to them. I learned this from watching my own family members (who have dogs & no kids), so maybe you will understand where your husband's relatives are coming from...

  2. I do understand where they are coming from -- honestly I don't hold it against them they they love their dog. Its more that when we asked if they could put their dog elsewhere they decided they didnt want us at all. It wasn't like 'Oh, I hear that your kids may be scared but we really dont have where to put the dog....we want to see you, what else can we work out?' I think we could have figured out what made the most sense if we had gotten that feedback. Instead, if was a messaged through my MIL that basically we were not wanted and should stay home. No message or email from Aunt and Uncle before or after. So that is what I found to be sad - for them and us.

    Thanks for the comment though. BTW who is this? I usually recognize the commentators.

  3. I am glad to hear that things are moving along in good directions! Always tricky when messages are relayed through another person. I just had the opposite, where my good friend had keep her dog in a room at her parents' house while kids visited and the dog ended up tearing up a bunch of carpet because of separation anxiety. My friend was so stressed, saying she couldn't go anywhere anymore because she cared about her dog too much to use boarding... Holding all of the pieces is hard, especially around the holidays. They may have thought it would be a kindness, because of baby. Who knows? If it really would be that stressful for them, though, it's probably better to put it off for another time.

    I found that the better I felt, the more I expected of myself, then I would crash. Having a baby is major work! And my older had quite a few late mornings as I tried to organize everything! Good luck! Oh, and maternity leave goes way too quickly! They always seem too tiny to leave! My mom's good advice was- more people to love baby :). I hope the babysitter search goes well.

    Have a wonderful time at the wedding. Sounds fun! Best wishes, Lenka

  4. Thanks Lenka

    I think you are correct - bottom line is it probably made sense for us not to be there for various reasons. But it would have been a lot less hurtful if we could have talked it out as adults instead of getting a message 'you are not wanted'.

    Wedding was fun although I was a bit spacey -- i hope to update more later. I keep pushing off thinking of babysitters --aaah!